38 Days/5 Weeks and 3 Days Post Mirofracture Surgery

I have to admit it, I'm impressed with myself.  Sometimes I can be my biggest skeptic.  I know I'm strong and that I have will power.  I just can't believe how much! 

Sometimes I wish that I could be as positive out loud as I am in my head.  There is an amazing little voice in my head that is constantly telling me to try harder, to move forward to not fear the next footstep.  If I start doubting myself, feeling scared or worried about what might happen I start talking about it to my husband or friends and it's like having an out of body experience where I start hearing how ridiculous I sound.  Call it ranting, venting, whining, complaining, verbalizing fears or anxiety.  Call it what you will but for me it's just a means for dissolving my fears.  It works instantly and before I know it I have that positive little voice in my head again.  I know you know that it must exist.  There is now way that I could have become any kind of a runner without possessing that little voice.  That little voice my friends is my will.  My will to succeed.  My will to conquer, my will to be.

At 35 days I came home from visiting my Ortho with a green light to start trying to bear weight on my left knee.  In our family room my husband stood nose to nose (Ok my nose to his neck) and for the first time in  weeks I put my crutches aside and put my left leg down on the floor.  Most of my weight was on my right foot but I forced myself to try to shift some to the left.  I felt my husband wrap his arms around me and he swayed as if we were dancing with a huge smile on his face.  With tears in my eyes and a smile on my face I knew I was entering a new phase in my recovery.  My husband continues to be my dance partner in life through the good times and the bad the same way that he stood next to me and stole my heart 11 years,   4 months   and 16 days ago when we danced our first dance.

The following day at 36 days I started to walk around the house using both crutches to help shift my weight.  It got to the point where it seemed too easy so I ditched one more crutch half way through the day and started to walk around using one crutch.  Making my left leg go down to bear weight is like asking a sane person to slowly stick their hand in an open fire and hold it steady.  Yeah, it's close to impossible.  Once I start feeling any kind of pain my leg instinctively wants to jerk up or shift the weight back to the other leg.  Every step I take is intentional.  I think I'm progressing faster than the norm but you never know if there are set backs or plateaus in one's progress.  Ideally a person should be walking pain free with no limp anywhere from 7-9 weeks from the time you start to bear weigh on the leg.  That puts me at 12-14 weeks post op.  Really though, I think I can accomplish it sooner.  I'm not saying it will be easy.  I'm just saying I think I can do it sooner.

I am now on day of two walking with just one crutch and by the end of the night my legs are dead tired.  Despite it being my LEFT leg that had the surgery, it's my left leg that is exhausted these days.  My right hip is also looking a little swollen and feeling quite tight.  My right calf burns constantly when I try to walk and most of the time ends up tightening into a rock from all the new activity.  I really think if I weren't suffering from all the side effects from being on crutches for 5 weeks, the dormant left quad, the super tight left calf, the sore shoulders and the half asleep, I'd practically be walking already!

I was hoping to be Wonder Woman and possibly ditch the crutches in a day or two.  Well that's not going to happen!  My arms start flailing and I start limping to the point where it's just too painful and tiresome.  I'm not discouraged though.  Very soon I will be crutchless!  I know it!

Well tomorrow I'm off to see The Wizard of with my family and I hope I can manage to stay on one crutch most of the day.  Like always, I probably will make it through 3/4 of the day and then be looking for the other crutch!